🥋 Sundays with Cain – Episode 34 - A ROLL & RUMBLE Fight Co. Exclusive

Interview by “D-Man,” CTF Inmate Correspondent

Two Years On The Mountain 

When telling the story of someone else, it's through a shared trust that the fine details come forward. Telling Cain's story has always been, one step forward, and uncovering two steps back. With just a few weeks left. I find myself feeling melancholy in advance. It has been a great honor to record his life's memories. It is even a bigger honor to share them with the reader. I hope you have been following along as we tell this tale. 

All roads come to an end. When one road ends, a new one begins. Memory is the scribe of the soul. - Aristotle 

What's prison time like with the sand running out? "A lot of people know that I'm leaving soon. Some are already saying goodbye. Others want a picture with me while they have a chance. Most give me words of encouragement". I've noticed a lot of people have been giving you things they have made. What are some of the things guys have made for you to take home? "Someone made a drawing of me, back in the day. The breathing class (Junior) made me a painting, that everyone signed on the back. One of the native brothers crocheted me a beanie. I received a drawing of a Pokémon, for my son. Someone else painted a picture of us playing pickle ball (Cain’s favorite thing to do in prison) together. Mostly, people are cooking food for me all the time". You do eat a lot. Have you noticed a shift in the way guys interact with you, being a short timer (someone who goes home soon)? "I've noticed a lot of new faces in breathing class. People have come to me, wanting to try it at least once before I leave". That's something I've noticed myself. The classes have been fuller lately. How does that make you feel? "Extremely grateful. I just hope they find what they’re lookin for". 

We don't have much time, so can we go back to your story? (Cain with a big smile) "Like where"? I was wondering what your favorite video game was growing up? "My all time favorite game is Gran Turismo. I had an original Nintendo console though before that. My favorite game for that was Blades of Steel. Probably because it was a hockey game and you could fight in it". Cain and I talked about Techno Bowl and another game he had that was hand held. He said, "it had a car on a screen that held still. Then a road moved and you had to move your hands holding the game to get the car to follow the road". Very low tech, compared to what kids have now, we both agreed. I am wondering, did you have a local gas station with a stand up arcade game, that you remember? (Cain smiles again) "From the ages of like, four to seven. There was a laundry place next door and a Stan's convenience store.

They always had a couple of arcade games. I remember the first one was Space Invaders. When they got Street Fighter, that was my favorite, for sure. (Sounds like most kids experience back then was similar) Stan's also had really good 'carne asada' burritos. Just meat and avocados, I loved their burritos". 

What other activities were you doing besides Stan's? "OK, my sister, brother, and I would swim a lot. I remember kindergarten, 1st grade, and 2nd grade that's where we were most of the time, our city pool. They had three diving boards and it took me a little while, but eventually I got the courage to go off the big one. We would stay all day sometimes. I remember being in my own world at the pool. Practicing all the karate moves I was seeing on TV or in the movies". Is the pool still there? "Ya, (Cain laughs) actually it’s across from the Jr. High School. For my P.E. class, we would go over there and have swimming class". I guess in the desert, swimming is one of the only ways to spend ones time”. It gets pretty hot in Yuma? "I remember it being like 120° and rollerblading back and forth, to and from school". Wait, you rollerbladed? When was this? "5th and 6th grade. It was like two miles to school, too far to walk. Many years later, Michelle and I went rollerblading and I thought it would be like riding a bike. I was wrong. I was falling all over the place and had to relearn the whole thing over again”. I can relate to that Cain. When I rollerbladed Cain, the only thing learned was how to fall on my ass!

You know, something else I was wondering about is your local fair, what’s your favorite ride at the fair? "Each year at the Yuma County Fair, I felt like I always had to ride the Gravitron and the bumper cars. I remember eating a lot of Indian Fry Bread". I wonder if that's still what they call it? "Probably not, but that's what it was called back then. You know what else we used to do a lot back then"? (Cain is asking me, but I think he's just having memories pour out right now) Please, do tell. "My mom used to take us to a lot of community events. Downtown Yuma has an old district down by the river. The Colorado river runs through town. There are old buildings down there that have been repurposed. Our mom would take us to plays, musicals, art galleries, and block parties down there (this is where Cain's mom would pay him a dollar to dance). She loved to show us those things. There was always little concerts with local bands and things like that". Did she ever get your dad to go to these events? "Not really, when my dad was home and we went out. It was always to Mexico. You know what else I miss, is the tacos. The taco stands around San Louis and Yuma are the best worldwide. I have traveled a lot. As a matter of fact, Kelvin Gastelum who has also fought in the UFC and he's from Yuma too, we used to talk about the tacos from home and we both agreed. They are the best”! 

Let's shift forward in your story a little. Last week we talked about you starting plant medicine, UFC bonding you out of county jail, and starting a new chapter of life, one of healing. How were you introduced into plant medicine? "When my back became such a big issue, I began to use marijuana. I mean I really got into it. I felt like I had to have it as soon as I woke up. When I was training and before I went to bed".

Was this your way of managing your back pain without pain pills? "That, yes, and it made things that I was doing, for so long, new again. Look, I was looking for ways to process my mother and brothers deaths. I even started to talk to a medium. Her name is Melinda Vail. Thom told me it might help and to give it a try. He put it this way, he said, 'I don't spend my money on a lot of things. If I do have extra money I'll spend it on that. The conversations I have with her are worth it'. What was your experience like with her? "The information she gave me about my mom and brother, gave me peace. The way my brother left (Cain looks down and shakes his head). She was able to assure me he is in a good place and that there is only love between me and him. I knew that I needed to process my brother’s death, especially. I didn't know what I needed and my coach brought this to me. I went and it started to help. That first year after my brother’s passing, I put a lot of work into solving how I could put him to rest. I remember the night he passed. Michelle and I got back to the house and were in shock. We were talking about what happened and I started to meditate. Deeply. I had been meditating daily for years, so I could go deep into it. This night I had my first out of body experience. I had no more attachments to earth at this moment. I allowed myself to totally detach from my body. In that moment, as I was leaving, I stopped. No, wait. Michelle is right there. What's she going to think if I'm gone. So I came back. So your meditations, medium visits, and plant medicine were all different ways you coped with that loss? "Yes" Thank you for opening up about something so personal. 

Let's jump forward a little. Take me to the mountain. You’re on your friend’s property for two years. On an ankle monitor and what, living in a cabin, a cave? "I was in an RV, it’s my friend Jason Goelz's property. There is an old Victorian house from the previous owner. She was the daughter of a family that used to own the Bank of San Fransisco. I think that bank turned into the Bank of America, but I'm not sure. The house is still there and it is huge. Probably about 5,000 sq ft. and in kinda bad shape. Jason is a wine maker and his winery's name is Carter House Cellars". Is that the houses old family's name, Carter? "I think so. Jason was thinking about maybe making the house and property into a healing retreat. His property could be a place for all these different practices. Breathing, meditation, plant medicine, sweat lodge, even physical therapy". Does Jason stay on the property? "He lives in the front of the house. Where the family would have stayed. I had my RV hooked up in the back where the servants used to come in and out. I was hooked up to the house electricity and water. One day I walked into the house through the service entrance. I felt a very low energy and stopped. I said out loud - “Is this what you felt working here”? - I don't know what happened at this house. But another night the back screen door was rattling. I spoke again to this energy and told it, “It’s time to leave”. This spirit would try to contact me pretty regularly. I could feel it push on my conscious as I slept, trying to wake me. Not all the time, but often I could smell a foulness in the air. I asked Jason if he ever had anything happen and he said, no. I caught some rattling on video once and showed him, but he said that he had not experienced anything apparitional himself. I tried burning sage, sprinkled holy water, even played musical frequencies that are supposed to scare away spirits. I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm trying everything. Finally I said out loud - “I know you’re there. I understand this is your home and I'm not going to be here forever. But I'm here now and you have to respect me as well. After that it didn't bother me anymore". 

Besides the house, can you describe the property and tell me how you spent the next two years? Jason calls it Lion Oak Ranch. The house is at the bottom of a mountain where grape vines roll off into the valley. Five paths lead off the house and go up the mountain. If you hold out your hand and spread out your fingers and thumb, the paths up the mountain fan out like that". Can you drive on these paths? "Yes, hike or drive. As you move up the mountain, it’s mostly meadows and oak trees. As you reach the top of the paths off to the right, there is manzanita trees. They have bark that turns bright orange and the native people eat the berry's as medicine for their kidney's. When you reach the top of the paths to the left, there is a redwood forest. All the way to the left of the mountain is an old redwood that grew together with some other tree. They spin around each other and look fused together, with this massive branch coming out half-way up and curving up the mountain. It’s truly a magical place. I would take a water pack and hike the mountain everyday. I started to do it barefoot in the rainy season when everything is soft. I usually took the trails on the left and would walk across the top over to the redwood's. Each day I found myself finding new spots to meditate. I really enjoyed the quietness of the redwoods. Sometimes different trails would be blocked by fallen trees. I would go up there and cut them up, pushing them off to the side and nature would take back the wood. Slowly it rots and mushrooms and bugs take over. There are red tailed hawks, condors, owls, hummingbirds, and all different kinds of small birds. At night I heard the owls and coyotes. One time I saw a coyote that looked to be the size of a wolf. There are deer, rabbit, rattlesnakes, king snakes, and salamanders when it rains and butterflies and bees. There was even a baby mountain lion that would come down near the house. We never saw the mother lion but we were well aware that she had to be nearby. Sometimes I drove the kids up top and we would hang out.

Now, there is a lot of poison oak up there. One time Cain Jr and I got into it real bad. He had it all over his body and even in his mouth. Michelle and I were freaked out and it was a pretty scary couple of days. After that we respected the plant greatly. My son loves it up there. He likes to paint, so I got him some canvases and paints. I would take him up to different spots and let him paint what he saw. We did a lot of hiking, stick fighting, and tree climbing together. I got him a go cart and thought I was going to have this great teaching moment. When he got in the first time, he took off and started drifting corners. He looked like he knew exactly what he was doing. I had him on my shoulders once, walking back down the mountain. It started to rain and I started to sprint down. He must of thought he was riding a horse or something. He just started to laugh so hard. We even started to paint each others faces native style. I would paint his and he would paint mine. Then we would head up the mountain". It sounds like you had a great time being able to bond with your kids. Were you still training at AKA at this time? "I was still going to the gym, but everyone wanted some kind of knowledge from me. I felt like what was best for me at this time, was to be alone. To be alone as much as possible was the most beneficial for me, at this time. I did start to bring people to the property. I would invite them to come and do healing ceremonies". Like who? "Friends, other fighters from AKA". How often? "Once a month, sometimes every two weeks. I find joy in it. I want to serve others and that includes medicine. It’s like MMA all over again. I realize that I need to start to practice to learn this new craft. There are not many people to learn from. So finding videos online to watch and inviting other healers to come and share. (Cain lifts up his shirt and shows me his back) See those four little white dots on my shoulder? (I saw them and said yes) Those are from when I got out of county jail. I had a healer come over and four of us did a purge with Kambo venomous frog secretions. It cleanses the body and the spirit. I fasted for two days and drank a lot of water. The healer puts the poison on the a red hot dart. He puts the dart into your shoulder and instantly I get nauseous. Then after a few minutes, he gives me the second one. It intensifies and by the third one, I'm puking up all the bile and toxins in my stomach. My spirit is being cleansed at the same time. My puke was so much more foul than the other guys (Cain laughs), I think it’s from the food in county jail and the stress. By the fourth dart, you’ve purged of all your bile physically and spiritually". 

This was one of the first things you chose to do for yourself, heal. How does the holotropic breathing work into this part of your story? I feel like the men here at CTF are getting a lot of healing from that practice. "Probably in 2017, I started watching Win Hof videos. Kyle Kingsbury mentioned it at the gym one day. Then I heard Joe Rogan mention it on his pod cast. Win Hof does short sessions, one minute breathing, one holding your breath. Stuff like that. I signed up for a workshop with a guy who did a two hour session of heavy breathing. I went and got a little DMT experience myself. But what I really noticed was other people around me. I saw some of them totally blasting off into that place. The place where true healing takes place. It showed me how beneficial it is to people. Plus, it's like a date when you don't have any money, it’s free! Well it wasn't that time, but it can be. I still wasn't completely sold on it until I incorporated breathing into a session with medicine". And now you’re here showing us how to breathe. I want to thank you for everything you’re doing here. I want to thank you for sharing your story. I know someone out there is benefiting from your words and I hope they find what they’re looking for. Anything else about your two years on the mountain. "There is a lot of learning that comes with being alone. You have to be comfortable in that. It helped me realize that I am the one who makes my happiness. I am still breathing. I have consciousness. So I am grateful for that". 

That's it this week. It’s one of our last ones with the big guy. I learn from him everyday. I hope you do as well. Until next time. Remember to tell your story to those you love. Cain’s story is a human story just as much as it is his story.